Long Time No Post

Hello pretty people :)

   I realized yesterday that I don't update my blog anymore, for the reasoning that my TMJ issues just aren't that significant to me anymore, so why would I update you guys on nothing!
But, then I realized that the nothingness is probably something that some of you need to hear.

It's been just over 2 years since I had my surgery, and here is where I'm at:
   I got my braces off in April, and rather than a retainer, or my good ole' buddy splint, I was given a bite corrector to finish moving my teeth into the perfect place, and the get my open bite under control once and for all.
    I have some soreness in my jaw still, both sides, but It gets better with chiropractic work, the right supplements, and stretching.
I click a little on my left side when I open, but with no pain. It doesn't worry Doctor Piper much, so it doesn't worry me.
    I am eating just about anything I want, with caution. I'll chew gum for like 5 minutes at a time, tops. Ill eat harder meats if I chew lightly. And as far as the crunch factor goes, I just don't bite all the way down with as much force as I usually would before surgery.
    I am living everyday with a bigger, happier, and less painful smile now that I'm in such a solid place in my recovery. I could not be more pleased with where I'm at with my TMJ today.

Just remember, when you feel like you're drowning in an ocean of pain and limitations and frustration, and you think you're never going to surface again, the land is RIGHT there. Just ride the waves and know that you are SO close to such a life-changing recovery.

I wish you all the Best of luck with your journey, whether you've just begun, are almost done like me, or are right in the middle of it all... YOU GOT THIS !:)
BTW THIS IS THE BITE CORRECTOR. EXCUSE THE STOCK PHOTO

One of Those Days

SO!

Sorry to be a Debby Downer, but I feel like I need to let out some frustrations. Well, one in particular.

I HATE HAVING BRACES. I am 18 years old, and I have BRACES. And, yes... I have already had them for over a month, and have already thrown my fits about it... But it just isn't getting any easier for me and I don't know why. Well, maybe I do.

Really, 18 isn't even that old at all. But I am applying for jobs left and right, some big and full-time, some small, part-time and just help until I can support myself on my own. BUT I just had a 2 part interview for a server position, and they never called.. They were supposed to call by tonight, and IMMEDIATELY my mind goes to the fact that I have braces and that I can't do anything adult-like because I HAVE BRACES!!!!

And it's very likely that they will call me tomorrow and either say I got the job or tell me really why I didn't, but until then... It's because I am an adult with the train tracks of a middle schooler.

Okay so my mind is in a million different places and I am just here to say that ITS OKAY TO GET FRUSTRATED AND BE SAD THAT YOU HAVE TO GET BRACES FOR THE ZILLIONTH TIME AND YOU CAN HAVE A BREAKDOWN WITHOUT BEING AN EMOTIONAL WRECK!!!! ITS OKAAAYYYYYYYYY! we are okay :)

And we are back to SO! I really write posts when i'm feeling down in a desperate attempt to cheer myself, and thankfully it always works!
Obviously there are other ways to cheer yourself up.. some of them being:

• Sing a happy song
• Listen to your favorite (happy) songs
• Talk to people that you love and can be happy around (not about your problems)
• Put on your favorite outfit and go to your favorite place to eat
• Write a poem about how awesome you are
• Write down why you are feeling bad and BURN IT!!!!
• Smile smile smile!! Even if you don't want to.. Science says it works, sooooo ;)

ANYWAYS SORRY FOR BEING SO CAPS HAPPY IM EITHER SUPER FRUSTRATED OR SUPER ENTHUSIASTIC HAVING BRACES SUCKS BUT BEING YOUR HAPPY BEAUTIFUL SELF IS SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT! Have a good school year for anyone going back, and a good rest of your 2015 for anyone not currently in school. 

and hey, at least I don't still look like this 

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOOOOOXXXXOXOOOXOXOOXO :)

Sorry i'm a slacker

HOLY COWW!!!!!

So i'm about 14 months post-op. I have said my goodbyes to my splint, and bitterly welcomed braces in its place. I'm sure I've said this before, but this is my FOURTH time with braces, and i'm over it. But... As resistant and angry as I have been over them, I need to accept them and get used to it. After all, its just 9-12 months. I am more upset over how I look with them than the fact that they're a burden on my life.. Because they're not.

Truthfully, they don't cut up my mouth nearly as much as I remembered, and since I've had them before so many times, they don't make my teeth very sore at all. It's just the fact that I turned 18 yesterday (AHHHH!!), so i'm supposed to be entering adulthood, you know? I already look pretty young, but now that I have braces, I just feel like it will be harder for people to take me seriously as an adult, and might keep me from doing things that I want to do (career-wise). I know that's a bunch of bologna, but it's what's on my mind.

Regardless of my occasional pouting to my family and very best friends, I don't like to show my frustrations to other people. The best thing to do in my situation is to rock 'em. Smile bigger, shine brighter, and work harder. Sometimes I will catch myself feeling embarrassed to meet new people because of my braces, then I snap myself out of it, because really, who cares? I don't need to be around anyone who doesn't like me because of how I look.. Especially because it's a temporary thing.

So between my 9 month post and now, not much has changed besides "out with Hannibal Lector and in with Metal Mouth." (which I think is a good name for this transition). I'm still on a soft chew diet for every meal ("anything softer than a meatball") and i'm still taking the vitamins I was prescribed. I still have some popping in my right side, but less pain. I'm living my life and doing fun and exciting things! I am to the point where the surgery recovery only affects me because I have braces in my mouth, but there is no part of recovery at this point that is stopping me from doing anything I want to do.

Some of my biggest advice after making it this far is this:

• Don't just lay around because you're down about recovery. Do something fun! 
• Be positive!
• If you get annoyed at people who make fun of you (joking or not), make fun of yourself before they get the chance. The jokes definitely get old, so don't give people the chance to make them :)
• And never stop smiling. Especially if you're feeling insecure about your mouthful of splint/braces. If you show people that your confidence has not been compromised, they will think more highly of you. 

So to finish this off, here's some pictures from the past couple months :)

Georgia Aquarium

Adventure Island, FL


Lake Lanier Islands, GA

9 MONTH

I had my 9 month appointment yesterday with Piper. Let me tell you how that went from the night before.

About 9 pm, Sunday: *laying in bed thinking about how everything is going to go at the appointment, stressing about past slip ups in recovery, and nervously anticipating what is to come* 

I didn't want to get my hopes up, in fear that when I went, I would not be pleased with the information and instruction I was given. 

8 am, Monday: *waking up with a big smile and a nervous feeling*

I Almost wanted to go back to bed and hold off the appointment because I was scared of what was going to happen. 

10 am, At Piper Clinic: Went back and got my CT, was brought to the little room to do measurements, and then waited for Piper. Piper finally came, and looked at my jaw, movement, range of motion, and clicking and so on. took us to the CT viewing room, or in other words, The Dungeon, and gave us the word. 

The Word: soft chew EVERY meal, most brackets taken off so they can't be seen, so I can wear my splint until ortho.. and I can go into ortho whenever i'm ready!!! Probably going to do incognito. :)

12 pm, Jacksons office: got more brackets off than originally expected :) talked about plan for braces.

3 pm, Piper Clinic: Impressions done, and released into the world with my new pretty white smile :)


What a journey. I know it's not over yet, and I have quite a while to go, but the hard part is over. I can't believe I made it this far without breaking down and eating a back of pita chips, or chowing down on a yummy steak. I get a little emotional thinking about how tough it was for me in the beginning and how I pushed through it to get where I am today. I am SO beyond happy with my progress and can't wait to graduate officially from the Piper Clinic. Although I will miss everyone there like family.

Set back

So...


My jaw has been popping on the left side for quite some time. I'm now supposed to be wearing my surgical splint JUST at nighttime. BUT, since I'm not exactly where I should be in recovery, I have to wear my splint 2 times a day for 2 hours each. AND, when I'm don't have it in for those set times, I have to wear it in half banded, so I can still open my mouth, but I still have it banded to my upper teeth, so that when I bite, I bite into the splint.

So that really sucks. its painful being in my splint so much, and I'm ready for this whole thing to be over AND I'm really stressed because my jaw is popping more. So I'm having a grand ole time.

To top all of this off, I've been sick for the past week, AND I cut my hair yesterday... I HATE it. So this week has been one of those where I just want to sit in my room and cry.


I know this is a pretty common expression, but have you ever shot a bow and arrow? Or saw someone shoot one? You pull back the arrow and string, WAY back.. and the RELEASE! And the arrow goes shooting towards your target.

So thats kind of like life.. When life is pulling you back and you're feeling not so great, just remember you're being prepared to SHOOT forward into better things. So don't feel too bad. :)


Heres a few pictures from my winter break. :) Xx

Making Progress'

SO!

I am almost 6 months post-op. 6 MONTHS!!!!!!! I can't even believe it! Just wanted to make a post letting you know where I am at personally in recovery, and how I'm doing! (Just a reminder that not everyone will make the same progress and be at the same point in recovery at the same time. Everyone heals differently. Take your time and don't base your recovery off of other people's. You'll get there, I promise.


SPLINT SCHEDULE:

As of November 1st, I have to wear my splint 2 times a day, 2 hours each.

On December 1st, I get to move down to wearing my splint 1 time a day, for 2 hours.

On January 1st, I will wear my splint at bedtime, and whenever I feel I need to throughout the day. (driving, dancing, going to fairs or amusement parks, etc.)

EATING:

I am on a soft chew 1 time a day diet. Usually in the morning I will eat eggs. (I like them over medium so it makes them easier not to chew. Ive been eating that since I first got the surgery.)

For lunch, I am at school 5 days a week, and there is a microwave that is available to me by special request in the office because of surgery. Everyday i use the microwave and eat mac and cheese singles or ramen occasionally. I am going to try and find something a little bit healthier.

Dinner is usually when I use my soft chew. the rule is: "Anything softer than a meatball". So I chew things like pasta, soft bread, actual meatballs (lol), fish, SOME chicken if it is very tender, and anything of the sort.

PAIN&MEDS:

Because my severe TMJ was caused by whiplash, I still have a lot of neck and upper back pain. I heat my neck when it gets bad, and take ibuprofen when needed.

My jaw gets a little sore when I am out of my splint for an extended period, when I soft chew, when I sing and when I talk a lot (which is common). If it gets really bad I will take a klonopin before bedtime.

SO that's pretty much it. I'm living life like normal, hanging out, going on adventures, succeeding in school, and making future career plans of being a flight attendant, wooh :) Here's just some pictures of my dance partner and I at a performance, because I hate posting without a picture!
Xx

Surgery hair

TOPIC OF THE DAY: My hair growing back from where it was shaved for surgery.

So I never REALLY  noticed my baby hairs until about 3/4 months post-op, but when I did, it was because I threw my hair up in a bun and saw these awkward little hairs behind my ear just chillin. I have always noticed my new "sideburns" of course, because they are in front of my ear and always showing, but not the back! After I noticed them, I swear they started growing ten times faster!!! Now depending on how they dry if I don't pin them back, they'll curl around my ear or go straight down if my hair is up or any other non-attractive little thing they can do, they do. I'm starting to embrace them, even though they just keep growing, like hair is known to do, and keep getting more and more noticeable. But I figured, I can't do anything about it, so why worry? so now, hair up or hair down, i just let those little sucker free to do whatever they want.. flow in the wind, curl around my ear in a nice big hug, go straight down, or do the right thing and go in the direction of the rest of my hair... (rare). they're learning quickly, though. Anyways... Enjoy a few of the pictures I've taken of my little baby surgery hairs in the last month or two!!

Hello!

Just a little hello since I haven't posted in a while. I'm almost 4 months post-op, and I can soft chew once a day. My splint schedule is have it in 4x a day 2 hours each.

I'm still taking klonopin, because after soft chew my jaw gets pretty sore. 

This is my ear scars (I took this photo 5 minutes ago). A little blurry. Still red. Still visible. But that's okay, because I like having visible scars. Well they're hardly visible so.. 

My scars are a reminder of my journey and also comes with a story! 

That's all for now!!

Xx

3 month visit

Today I go in for my 3 month appointment. I'm extremely nervous. More anxious actually. I don't know. I've been feeling really overwhelmed with my splint and my diet and my break schedule and everything else. It had obviously all become second nature to me, but sometimes nature can get in the way. 

I have been working very hard to talk and be understood while wearing my splint. A bit over three months now, and i really feel like I'm doing just fine. My family can understand me. My friends can't most of the time, even strangers can understand me. Occasionally I'll have to repeat myself, but never more than once. But one of the most degrading things to me, is when I try and talk to someone, or respond to someone's question, or ask a question or WHATEVER and whoever I'm talking to responds with their teeth clenched, or their finger between their teeth. 

I get that it's a joke, and it's was funny for about a day. But now, I hate to say it "hurts my feelings", but it really makes me feel like all this effort has gone to waste. Some days I want to just not talk at all when my splint is in, because being silent for a little while is far better than being mocked for something that I can not help. 

On another note, I will say that I have broken down into tears because I couldn't eat potato chips, or Pringles or Fritos. I don't even like Fritos. I really miss chewing. Even if I could just chew some mashed potatoes I would feel a weight lift off of my shoulders. 

It's getting late-ish. I need to sleep. I'll be groggy for tomorrow if I stay up for too long. Thanks to all you who listen. 

Even if the evil in the world gives you ten million reasons to cry, smile so it knows you can't be bothered. 

Xx

Surgery Survival 101

I noticed I haven't done a surgery survival post yet! What am I thinking! I searched far and wide for a very specific Piper Patient surgery supply list, and it was nearly impossible! 

When I arrived at the hospital for surgery, everything went very fast. We got checked in, were moved upstairs, my mom french braided my hair (you have to keep it out of your face), and then I was pulled back to get my IV and medications and get all cozy in my HEATED hospital gown. So here is a list of things I brought,  and things I wish I brought.

For you Caretaker or Friends/Family that accompany you:

-A blanket/pillow to sleep during your surgery (if they can), and overnight.

-Something to keep them entertained. Books/computer or IPad with movies/games/snacks. The last thing you need is for them to be nervous little worrywarts during the whole surgery!

-A packed dinner if they don't want to eat the hospital food.


For YOU:

-A blanket. (good for before AND after surgery)

-A really cozy change of clothes. they can unhook the IV (without taking the needle out and putting it back in) so you can change into something much comfier than a hospital gown.

-Slippers with grip on the bottom, in case you don't want to wear the hospital socks. Also some socks of your own are nice to have. 

-I brought a white board and dry erase markers, but I really wish I would have thought of my doodle board then. it is not messy at all, and very easy to use and carry around. But all in all, bring something to help you communicate, be it a doodle board, white board, chalkboard, or pen and paper. You don't want to have people trying to interpret your moans and groans for 20 minutes when all you want is some water.

-I really enjoyed having my stuffed animal I got from a surgeon of mine when I was 5. When I was in recovery, I was crying and complaining that I couldn't breathe, (I was just being dramatic) and Dr. Piper brought me back my teddy bear! That's my only memory from recovery, and its a darn good one.

-I usually slept between hall walks, but when I was up, I wanted to play games with my parents and boyfriend. We didn't bring cards or anything like that, so we played hangman on my white board, but I really wish I would have brought a deck of cards!

-The hospital provides a sort of lip balm, but I really wish I would have brought my own, because theirs is very watery and clumps up when it dries. I have found after trying many different things, that EOS balms work the best for me.

-Bring the heating pad you picked up with your other prescriptions, and make sure to replace your ice when it all melts. The nurses were good about checking in, so we rarely had to leave the room for new ice.

-Bathroom essentials (deodorant, soft toothbrush, toothpaste) were very nice to have. I felt a little gross after being in the hospital overnight.

-Bring a free-standing mirror. You're going to want to look at yourself. A lot. Or at least I did. I got this Mary Kay pink travel mirror. It holds your hooks, rubber bands, a mirror, and your splint. It sells for $3 on amazon.

-The hospital will supply your nutritional drinks and water and syringes, tissues, an ice pack, and wash cloths.

MAKE SURE YOU DON'T EAT OR DRINK ANYTHING PAST MIDNIGHT THE NIGHT BEFORE YOUR SURGERY AND GOOD LUCCCKKKK!

 Enjoy a few of my photos, including some of the stuff on my survival list!
Xx

A change of clothes 

Slippers and socks (this is the leg gear that they make you wear to avoid blood clots)  

My white board to communicate and play games

My fuzzy blanket that my boyfriend stole while I went out for one of my walks. 

And just a picture of me a few days post op, for your enjoyment ;) 

So Far So Awesome!

So far, school has been easy. My teachers and classmates are learning to understand my muffled speech, I'm on track as far as the small amount of work I have so far, I haven't caught "senioritis" yet, and I'm on a great schedule for when to take out my splint. I am on one hour and fifteen minutes out of my splint five times a day. Here is my break schedule!

6:30- Wake up, take out splint (1) and put in in retainer cleaner. Take morning vitamins. Do jaw exercises. Get ready for school, make breakfast (usually eggs), brush teeth and splint. Leave for school.

7:45- about 15 minutes into first period class. Put splint back in. (Teachers don't seem to mind as long as you fill them in on what is going on)

11:22- Lunch. Take splint out (2). Go to bathroom and do jaw exercises.

12:37- Halfway through sixth period. Put splint back in.

1:30- Halfway through ambassadors (show choir). Take splint out (3) if singing day, leave in if dance day.

2:45- Home. Snack and do jaw exercises. Put splint back in after snack. If it was dancing day, take out splint for 1:15 and snack.

6:30- Dinnertime. Take out splint. (4) Do jaw exercises.

7:45- Put splint back in.

9(ish)- Nightly FaceTime chats. Take splint out (5) and put it in retainer cleaner.

After 1:15 of FaceTime- Do jaw exercises, brush teeth and splint. Put splint back in. Listen to Dracula audiobook (for english class) for a chapter. Take a klonopin and GO TO BED! 

It looks really busy and confusing when i type it out, but really its a piece of cake. I'm just three days in and i don't even have to think about my new schedule anymore. 

My concerns:

My neck and upper back have been hurting lot since the start of school. I don't know if it is how i am sleeping, or having to look up at the board all day, or what. All I know is that all I want to do is heat my jaw and ice my back after a long day at school. (which i make time for while listening to my audiobook). 

So far this year is looking like a good one. :)

Xx

First Day

So, today was the last first day of high school for me. It's scary, growing up. I used to want to be grown up, and now all I want is to be that chubby cheeked five year old that talked to butterflies and bounced around in pig tails singing silly songs. But that's life, right? 

So for the TMJ related stuff; I managed to get second period marked as an "off-period" so I can run home, eat, brush my teeth and do my exercises. Then for 5th period I have an hour of lunch, so I can Eat and socialize and what not, and then I don't have an 8th period either, so I get to go home and get it out one more time before dinner. I really enjoy being on a set schedule, because it makes dealing with my splint much easier. 

As far as talking goes, I am not having much luck in the classroom setting. I feel a little embarrassed when the teachers make me introduce my self and give the class one interest fact about me. 

My statement is usually "I'm Emily, and I can't talk very well because I had jaw surgery"

I have no clue how many people just smiled and nodded because they had no clue what I said. I don't blame them. I'm not yet comfortable pulling out my doodle board to communicate.. Not for such small amounts of sharing.. It might become useful by next week. 

Many of my teachers handed out a syllabus that we had to return with our info, and on the bottom they ask "is there anything special that I should know about you". To avoid any future conflict, I write about exactly what the surgery is, why I got it, and the stages of recover, and my physical limitation due to the surgery. I'm sure they will all understand. 

On a super side note- 

My three month appointment is on September 3rd, and I am so nervous. I've never been nervous for "just-a-checkup" before, but when I think about it my stomach ties in knots and I feel really anxious. But I'm sure all is and will forever be well :) 

Hope everyone going back to school is having a good time 

(First day of senior year photo) 

Xx

Back To School

Summertime is almost officially over. That means a lot of great things are coming to an end. 

-Sleeping in.

-Eating whenever i'm hungry.

-Netflix marathons.

-Seeing my boyfriend everyday.

-Small vacations.

-Lots of beach trips.

-Summer clothes.

-Never being busy.

-No school work.

BUT, the end of summer also means the start of some equally as great things.

-Meeting and making new friends.

-Having a set schedule.

-New clothes.

-Ambassadors. :)

-Not being able to lay in bed for a week straight.

-Starbucks almost every morning (Guilty). 

-Friday night football games.

-Pre-game tailgating.

-Prep rallies. 

This coming year I will FINALLY be a senior!!!! But there's still a lot to do (in the next three days) to prepare to go back to school. School clothes. School supplies. Schedule changes. Hang tag for my car. Buy a locker. Etc. 

BUT I did already buy one magical little device for the coming year, that will benefit my surgery recovery. Lately I have been pushing my jaw forward slightly to help people understand me better when I talk. I know that it's not good for me, and it makes me very sore after just a little bit. SO! I thought I would need something to write on. Something more eco-friendly than pen and paper, and something less messy than a white board and dry erase markers! Now i'm not exactly sure what these babies are called, but I was using one when I went to babysit, and it woks like magic! Just $10 on amazon, and I'm set for answering all the questions I can!

I'll let you know how well it works as soon as I get to find out myself!

BACK TO SCHOOL I GO!

Xx

Freak Out

So yesterday I had to babysit early in the morning. School starts on Tuesday, and I have some scheduling issues (due to surgery) that i need to work out, so i sopped by the school, and then went to Starbucks, then to babysit. I took my splint out to eat with the kids, then put it back in about 30 minutes before my hour was up. I got a call from my school, so I took out my splint and set it in my cup holder , and answered it, only to find out they they were calling to tell my that they will call me later on to wok out my schedule. ugh.

So I got home, feeling like a shower. I talked to my brother in the living room for a few minutes, said hi to my dad in his room, got my towel from my room, and hopped in the shower. As soon as I got out of the shower, my timer to put my splint back in went off. But where was my splint? I don't know.

I searched all over the bathroom, all over the kitchen, my dads room, my room (even cleaned it all up) and all around my car. In the console, in the cup holders, under the seats, under the CAR. EVERYWHERE! My mom came home and helped me look all over the house, and double checked the car.

We started losing hope. We decided to call the piper clinic (which is apparently closed at 3pm on a Friday) And had to call it in as an emergency. So we left a very shameful message about my misplacement of my splint, and continued out desperate search. I was literally freaking out. I was so scared. I have been so good about keeping track of my splint, and then, I just lost it. literally.

I ran out to my car for one last sweep, and did the whole search routine again. About to turn around and go inside, something made me turn around and go around to the passenger side again. I pulled out my phone flashlight and checked under the seat, AGAIN. But then... there it was. The one thing i never thought that i would be SO happy to see.

I ran inside, washed it about 8 times, and my mom and I called back the "urgent" line at Piper Clinic, and left a second, even more shameful message explaining the false alarm. OOPS.

The oral of the story is.. KEEP YOUR SPLINT IN A CASE! Even if you think that you're just putting it down for a second.

AND SMILE
Xx

What's New? Not Much, What's New With You?

I don't know if I ever mentioned this mirror in any of my posts yet, but it has practically been my 

BFF after surgery. It holds all of my rubber bands (plus extra if you're traveling) and the hook, a mirror that it comes with, and my splint when I'm taking it out for my daily breaks! I found it at a goodwill for a dollar, (gross i know, but i washed it by hand like 5 times before using it), but I looked, and if you search "Mary Kay travel mirror" on Amazon, it sells for about $3. It fits right in my purse, and going to school I need something compact and easy to carry around, and it fits right in the front pocket of my backpack! 

I finished camp last Friday. 8am-5pm. long long days of singing and dancing non-stop. Crazy week. One of the dances is extremely fast and at the end, everyone does a different lift/dip/etc. well my friend Olivia and I, both have this weird crazy (hard) lift in the picture below (I'm on the left). It's pretty scary, because I know my head is close to the ground, and if i fell, that would be a major uh-oh after my surgery. But I do feel safe knowing that my lift partner is a gym junkie, and has enough muscle to bruise my sides from holding on so tight, so there's some trust there. The other picture is my entire show choir together! :)

ALWAYS REMEMBER TO SMILE AND STAY POSITIVE ALWAYS NO MATTER WHAT!!!!! HAPPINESS CURES ALMOST ANYTHING! Xx :)

CAMP

I started ambassador camp today (show choir camp) which was so much fun, but my jaw was aching from start to finish (all 9 hours of camp total). I haven't been taking my klonopin very much at all, so it wasn't weird or off schedule that I skipped it this morning. I think I am going to take one each morning before camp this week, because things weren't feeling too great. 

But tonight is one of "Those nights".  The nights I have only occasionally this far into recovery, where I bring out the ice packs and the klonopin. My neck hurts, my jaw aches, my back is sore, my incision spots are in a lot of sharp pain, and i can't seem to fall asleep. Like always. 

To top it all off I have some sort of head cold/sore throat type thing going on, which makes it EXTREMELY difficult to breathe with my splint in. I'm super stuffy and I keep having to stretch open my mouth and get a good breath in every few minutes or so. But it's all temporary and tolerable for now. 

 There's nothing ice packs and some good ole Elvis records can't fix. 

Crunch.

I'm in the mood for chips... 

Lazy posting.

Late night thoughts last night. That's the photo that went with my post. But hey, follow my Instagram :) @emilepsy  

Birthday :)

Happy birthday to me! I have been on vacation in Texas for pretty much this past month, so I haven't been blogging (oops) but now it's my BIRTHDAY!!!!! :) yay!!!! 

Plan is:

•lunch

•Starbucks

•pedi with mom

•boyfriend cooks dinner 

•movie

•frozen yogurt 

:) 

So as far as TMJ goes-

•still taking klonopin as needed (so rarely) 

•ran out of rubber bands in Texas and had to visit the local orthodontist. 

•still pain in the joint. 

•I've been on a full 5 on the therabite, which is awesome :) 

•it's getting hard to take it out 5 times a day because the amount of time I have is growing, and i wake up at 12 usually (summer/:) so I cant find lots of time to take it out. I've been managing, but on august 1st it goes up to an hour, which will be tough!! 

•can't wait to be only nights :) 

Love you all!!! 

Xx

Dreaming

So as you probably know by now, I'm on a no chew diet for 6 months. It's really hard, and yes, I do still burst into tears because I see a TV ad for steak, or my family is having burgers while I'm eating noodles or oatmeal. But for the most part, I've gotten used to it. I've never instinctually chewed on anything. I've been good. 

Recently I've been having dreams that I eat a chip and chew on it. Or even something like my regular non-chew meals, and I chew!!!! And even while I'm dreaming (because it seems so real) I freak out and worry because I've messed up the whole surgery!!! It's crazy. It feels like nightmares really.

But anyways I just had to share that because I keep having them and maybe getting it off my chest will make them go away?? Who knows. 

Hope you all had as good of an Independence Day as I did!! 

Been a while.

I miss blogging. It has totally slipped my mind lately. So much has been going on. 

We called the clinic, and went in for a checkup. I was only on a full three on my therabite. Lisa saw me and said I was doing great! YAY!! :) 

Now I'm on a full  four!!!!!

My neck really hurts lately. I don't know if it's related to my TMJ or anything.. But it's really bad. (My new sunburn doesn't help).

Just a few days ago I have realized that my appetite has gone down the drain. Maybe I have some small sickness or whatever.. All I know is EVERYTHING sounds gross. Which isn't a good thing at all, considering I am already losing weight. 

I'm laying off of the narcotics, because they make me feel heavy, and tired. But I think I'll start taking two a day again. I'm feeling crappy. 

Netflix has been keeping my mind off of everything while I'm home and more likely to feel the physical pain, and emotional pain of missing out on steak and sushi. 

Besides that I've been trying to do summer like a normal teen. Movies. Mall. Parties. Beach. Aquarium. Etc. Dr. Piper stressed not straying from our normal routines because of surgery. I'm Keeping that  in mind :) 

I'm going to go try and eat some noodles.. Since they've been my favorite food so far. 

Here's a picture of my new ear rings and my super awesome scar from surgery,  because I know the post is boring, and staying happy is important :) I just had to vent a bit. 

Xx

...

Still on a 2.  

A little late but...

I think about two weeks ago, i was in pipers office for a post-op visit. i met a girl, named Julia, and she was getting surgery the week after! (which happened to be this past wednesday)!!! that was the same day of the week i had mine done! so we are currently in touch, and talking about progress and how we're feeling. supporting and sharing. she pulls off that post surgery looks pretty well, wouldn't you say? ;)

She's going in for her 5-day post-op visit, where they unwire your splint, take off the first three bands, give you your exercises, and LET YOU FINALLY GET OFF OF A LIQUID DIET! so we are talk about food and what i've been eating and how i've been finding ways to eat (swallow) foods like fish and chips, and also all of my favorite "swallow-me-whole" easy dishes, like mac and cheese, and cup-of-noodles, and egg salad!!! as far as i've been hewing, she's doing great! we all have our rough days and i know she has had her, but girlfriend, there are better days to come. especially now that you don't have to drink your food!!! 

JULIA!

Good luck to you!!! i wish you the best with your recovery, and hope to keep in touch. i know it helps me talking to other patients going through the same thing at the same (or almost same) time! you look fabulous! hope you feel fabulous! don't let people get you down. TMJ splints have been proven to make the hot girls hotter. Liana and i found out first hand ;) you'll see! Rock on!

Xx 

"Exercises"

Say hello to my little "frenemy". this is the little device they give you to exercise your jaw called a "therabite". you bite around the white part, where it looks like you should be biting, and then you squeeze the movable parts and it forces your jaw open. WELL. when you first take off your splint in the office, they make you give it a shot (along with the other exercise). there are five levels. 1 is the smallest amount that it will force your jaw open. once you can open all the way to one, you shift to two, and so on.

well when i first tried in the office, i was at about a half, which wasn't abnormal, being that it was my first time out of the splint since surgery. well, you do it five times a day, and i kept going and finally got to a full one! I WAS SO PUMPED! so then i moved the stopper to level two, and I DID IT!!! (mind you, this is me yelling in excitement about where i am on my therabite, on the bathroom counter in the middle of my brothers grad party). since then i've been working on a level two, since i was on lots of meds, and i have only been able to force a full two, one more time since then. and i continue to keep going and trying and pushing myself to the next level.

well our phone consultation came up and they talked about all the basics, and discussed my meds and how i was feeling.. how i was eating.. was i coming out five times a day, etc. etc. etc.

then they mentioned my exercise schedule. "she's doing her jiggles, i assume she's on about a 3 or 4 on the therabite"

… well no, try a 2.

"other patients are usually around a 3 or 4 now, sometimes even a 5"

… no. i'm a 2. on a good day.

i couldn't take that. i burst into tears. i have been pushing myself before that phone call and i thought i was doing so good, and here i am, feeling so stupid because i was excited about being at a less-than-average point in my recovery.

i cried and cried, (im crying right now) and since the call i have been pushing and pushing. They suggested trying heat 15 minutes before i do my exercises, and that has done nothing. i work at it, i go as far as i can, and i just CAN NOT get myself past a two. i hit a full two this morning. i was going through my exercises and just got so frustrated and started crying and somehow i pushed myself to a full two, but there is no possible way i can top that. not right now.

well i felt really stupid, and i felt really bad, and felt lie I'm not doing good enough. well from the beginning i have been told not to compare my progress to other patients, so why shouldn't that apply now? i am working on level 2 on my therabite. i am pushing myself as hard as i can, and i am not giving up, but a 2 is where I'm at. it is all i can do. maybe thats a bad thing, but i can't let myself feel stupid and insecure and belittled by the fact that i can't open my mouth as far as the others who got surgery on the same day (which by the way is someone very supportive who has spoken to me about this already).

you recover at your own speed. i am cutting my meds in half, maybe even a little less. yes, i am feeling a little more pain, but i expected that by cutting my meds. i feel like i have swelled up a little since cutting meds and trying a little harder on my exercises, but thats all part of recovery. i feel like the medication was making me feel a little less like my happy giddy bouncy self. i blamed it on the fact that my face was just cut open for a while, BUT i feel like crying when someone looks at the camera the wrong way when I'm watching a film. so cutting meds may be what i need. i am already feeling (personality-wise) more like myself. still having rough patches. I'm still in pain. I'm still pretty upset about the therabite.

i did however just have some chocolate cake and ice cream, so i am feeling a bit better.

XX

Adventure Time!!!

So, I'm only allowed one 1 hour nap each day. i rarely take that offer. i have better things to do :) here's a short list of some of the things on my agenda, rather than Netflix, and sleeping!

• walked the streets of St. Pete, making new friends
• went thrift shopping with my mom and grandma 
• painted a tree (and my boyfriend) and swam in the river
• been to the mall (several times)
• went to the beach with my mom, aunt, and grandma
• went to the movies
• went to the movies again
• went to my brother/boyfriends graduation
• went to my ambassador end-of-year party
• went to my ambassador start-of-next-year meeting
• a little bit of Netflix but whatcha gonna do ;)

i SERIOUSLY suggest keeping yourself busy. bring your meds, bands, and exerciser along, but go and have fun! it bring my pain level down because I'm not thinking about it, and I'm not missing out on my summer vacation! I'm a picture person, so here's a few ;)

Boyfriend appreciation post

i have been dating my boyfriend for quite a while now, and i must say, i am pretty high maintenance to begin with ;) but he has come over almost everyday, giving my mother a break from my endless pain and meds and complaining and asking for things and everything else. my mother, i must say, is a trooper.

 From day one, he has been in the hospital with me, (before and after surgery) and at my house constantly. he was there when i took my splint out for the first time outside of piper's office and i just cried and cried. he was there when i did the same thing, and him and my mom drug me to public and make me get some food that i like (i was stubborn, of course).

he stays with me at night time until i fall asleep, and watches stupid movies with me because he knows it will make me happy. just a few pics i managed along the way. ( a few repeats, perhaps)