Today I go in for my 3 month appointment. I'm extremely nervous. More anxious actually. I don't know. I've been feeling really overwhelmed with my splint and my diet and my break schedule and everything else. It had obviously all become second nature to me, but sometimes nature can get in the way.
I have been working very hard to talk and be understood while wearing my splint. A bit over three months now, and i really feel like I'm doing just fine. My family can understand me. My friends can't most of the time, even strangers can understand me. Occasionally I'll have to repeat myself, but never more than once. But one of the most degrading things to me, is when I try and talk to someone, or respond to someone's question, or ask a question or WHATEVER and whoever I'm talking to responds with their teeth clenched, or their finger between their teeth.
I get that it's a joke, and it's was funny for about a day. But now, I hate to say it "hurts my feelings", but it really makes me feel like all this effort has gone to waste. Some days I want to just not talk at all when my splint is in, because being silent for a little while is far better than being mocked for something that I can not help.
On another note, I will say that I have broken down into tears because I couldn't eat potato chips, or Pringles or Fritos. I don't even like Fritos. I really miss chewing. Even if I could just chew some mashed potatoes I would feel a weight lift off of my shoulders.
It's getting late-ish. I need to sleep. I'll be groggy for tomorrow if I stay up for too long. Thanks to all you who listen.
Even if the evil in the world gives you ten million reasons to cry, smile so it knows you can't be bothered.
Xx
