Been a while.

I miss blogging. It has totally slipped my mind lately. So much has been going on. 

We called the clinic, and went in for a checkup. I was only on a full three on my therabite. Lisa saw me and said I was doing great! YAY!! :) 

Now I'm on a full  four!!!!!

My neck really hurts lately. I don't know if it's related to my TMJ or anything.. But it's really bad. (My new sunburn doesn't help).

Just a few days ago I have realized that my appetite has gone down the drain. Maybe I have some small sickness or whatever.. All I know is EVERYTHING sounds gross. Which isn't a good thing at all, considering I am already losing weight. 

I'm laying off of the narcotics, because they make me feel heavy, and tired. But I think I'll start taking two a day again. I'm feeling crappy. 

Netflix has been keeping my mind off of everything while I'm home and more likely to feel the physical pain, and emotional pain of missing out on steak and sushi. 

Besides that I've been trying to do summer like a normal teen. Movies. Mall. Parties. Beach. Aquarium. Etc. Dr. Piper stressed not straying from our normal routines because of surgery. I'm Keeping that  in mind :) 

I'm going to go try and eat some noodles.. Since they've been my favorite food so far. 

Here's a picture of my new ear rings and my super awesome scar from surgery,  because I know the post is boring, and staying happy is important :) I just had to vent a bit. 

Xx

...

Still on a 2.  

A little late but...

I think about two weeks ago, i was in pipers office for a post-op visit. i met a girl, named Julia, and she was getting surgery the week after! (which happened to be this past wednesday)!!! that was the same day of the week i had mine done! so we are currently in touch, and talking about progress and how we're feeling. supporting and sharing. she pulls off that post surgery looks pretty well, wouldn't you say? ;)

She's going in for her 5-day post-op visit, where they unwire your splint, take off the first three bands, give you your exercises, and LET YOU FINALLY GET OFF OF A LIQUID DIET! so we are talk about food and what i've been eating and how i've been finding ways to eat (swallow) foods like fish and chips, and also all of my favorite "swallow-me-whole" easy dishes, like mac and cheese, and cup-of-noodles, and egg salad!!! as far as i've been hewing, she's doing great! we all have our rough days and i know she has had her, but girlfriend, there are better days to come. especially now that you don't have to drink your food!!! 

JULIA!

Good luck to you!!! i wish you the best with your recovery, and hope to keep in touch. i know it helps me talking to other patients going through the same thing at the same (or almost same) time! you look fabulous! hope you feel fabulous! don't let people get you down. TMJ splints have been proven to make the hot girls hotter. Liana and i found out first hand ;) you'll see! Rock on!

Xx 

"Exercises"

Say hello to my little "frenemy". this is the little device they give you to exercise your jaw called a "therabite". you bite around the white part, where it looks like you should be biting, and then you squeeze the movable parts and it forces your jaw open. WELL. when you first take off your splint in the office, they make you give it a shot (along with the other exercise). there are five levels. 1 is the smallest amount that it will force your jaw open. once you can open all the way to one, you shift to two, and so on.

well when i first tried in the office, i was at about a half, which wasn't abnormal, being that it was my first time out of the splint since surgery. well, you do it five times a day, and i kept going and finally got to a full one! I WAS SO PUMPED! so then i moved the stopper to level two, and I DID IT!!! (mind you, this is me yelling in excitement about where i am on my therabite, on the bathroom counter in the middle of my brothers grad party). since then i've been working on a level two, since i was on lots of meds, and i have only been able to force a full two, one more time since then. and i continue to keep going and trying and pushing myself to the next level.

well our phone consultation came up and they talked about all the basics, and discussed my meds and how i was feeling.. how i was eating.. was i coming out five times a day, etc. etc. etc.

then they mentioned my exercise schedule. "she's doing her jiggles, i assume she's on about a 3 or 4 on the therabite"

… well no, try a 2.

"other patients are usually around a 3 or 4 now, sometimes even a 5"

… no. i'm a 2. on a good day.

i couldn't take that. i burst into tears. i have been pushing myself before that phone call and i thought i was doing so good, and here i am, feeling so stupid because i was excited about being at a less-than-average point in my recovery.

i cried and cried, (im crying right now) and since the call i have been pushing and pushing. They suggested trying heat 15 minutes before i do my exercises, and that has done nothing. i work at it, i go as far as i can, and i just CAN NOT get myself past a two. i hit a full two this morning. i was going through my exercises and just got so frustrated and started crying and somehow i pushed myself to a full two, but there is no possible way i can top that. not right now.

well i felt really stupid, and i felt really bad, and felt lie I'm not doing good enough. well from the beginning i have been told not to compare my progress to other patients, so why shouldn't that apply now? i am working on level 2 on my therabite. i am pushing myself as hard as i can, and i am not giving up, but a 2 is where I'm at. it is all i can do. maybe thats a bad thing, but i can't let myself feel stupid and insecure and belittled by the fact that i can't open my mouth as far as the others who got surgery on the same day (which by the way is someone very supportive who has spoken to me about this already).

you recover at your own speed. i am cutting my meds in half, maybe even a little less. yes, i am feeling a little more pain, but i expected that by cutting my meds. i feel like i have swelled up a little since cutting meds and trying a little harder on my exercises, but thats all part of recovery. i feel like the medication was making me feel a little less like my happy giddy bouncy self. i blamed it on the fact that my face was just cut open for a while, BUT i feel like crying when someone looks at the camera the wrong way when I'm watching a film. so cutting meds may be what i need. i am already feeling (personality-wise) more like myself. still having rough patches. I'm still in pain. I'm still pretty upset about the therabite.

i did however just have some chocolate cake and ice cream, so i am feeling a bit better.

XX

Adventure Time!!!

So, I'm only allowed one 1 hour nap each day. i rarely take that offer. i have better things to do :) here's a short list of some of the things on my agenda, rather than Netflix, and sleeping!

• walked the streets of St. Pete, making new friends
• went thrift shopping with my mom and grandma 
• painted a tree (and my boyfriend) and swam in the river
• been to the mall (several times)
• went to the beach with my mom, aunt, and grandma
• went to the movies
• went to the movies again
• went to my brother/boyfriends graduation
• went to my ambassador end-of-year party
• went to my ambassador start-of-next-year meeting
• a little bit of Netflix but whatcha gonna do ;)

i SERIOUSLY suggest keeping yourself busy. bring your meds, bands, and exerciser along, but go and have fun! it bring my pain level down because I'm not thinking about it, and I'm not missing out on my summer vacation! I'm a picture person, so here's a few ;)

Boyfriend appreciation post

i have been dating my boyfriend for quite a while now, and i must say, i am pretty high maintenance to begin with ;) but he has come over almost everyday, giving my mother a break from my endless pain and meds and complaining and asking for things and everything else. my mother, i must say, is a trooper.

 From day one, he has been in the hospital with me, (before and after surgery) and at my house constantly. he was there when i took my splint out for the first time outside of piper's office and i just cried and cried. he was there when i did the same thing, and him and my mom drug me to public and make me get some food that i like (i was stubborn, of course).

he stays with me at night time until i fall asleep, and watches stupid movies with me because he knows it will make me happy. just a few pics i managed along the way. ( a few repeats, perhaps)

Food

So I'm going to the movies, and we have to stop for dinner first. My aunt suggested chipotle, and the girls (grandma and mom) all agreed, so that's where we went. My mom asked what I wanted and I said nothing and she was like "you can't just get nothing you have to eat" and I yelled back "BUT I CANT EAT ANYTHING"

And started crying.

Mom and i took a breathe, looked at our options, and decided to run into public and grab 5 containers of mini micro Chef Boyardee berf ravioli and some beefaroni.

Food is stressful, but I will say, I could live off of those right now. They're small enough to swallow without chopping and smooth so they go down well. And tasty :)

Hope we make out movie

XX

Recognized

REAL FAST!!

right after my appointment, my aunt and I went to eat at Cassis, a breakfast place, and I asked (enthusiastically through my splint) if he could mix pineapple and cranberry juice, and his response was
"Are you a doctor piper patient?"

Haha is so funny when people recognize that. Which, by the way, has only happened twice!

But now he's back there chopping my up some pancakes :) I love people!

New Friends

Just left Pipers office. Met two people having surgery next week, and said goodbye to the one who had surgery the same day as me. It's really fun informing people on how things are going to go (which is why I made this blog in the first place) but also just making friends, and knowing people who will go through the same things as me!!

Today I'm feeling great! Cutting my pain pills in half, but keeping my muscle relaxers the same (since most of my pain is musclular) and I'm not feeling too bad.

I got a NEW splint today! The bite is slightly different, but I just replace the last splint with it.

I believe this is my last visit with piper until my 3 month :( I'm gonna miss the office and all the people I've met! I hope everyone keeps in touch, comments, asks questions, everything :) it's so fun talking with you guys!

Will post more about recovery and  exercises later, just a quick post because I was talking about it at the office!

XX

scars and stitches

so here are some progression pictures of my ears, and the stitches. you can see stitches along my ear, and down on my neck, from the clamps.
the first picture is with the drains, and with all the stitches, including the ones on my neck, covered. the next one was right after the drains came out and the bandages came off.

 made this one X-Large so you could get a better view. this is 6 days post-op.

                       stitches are healing well. they are dissolvable, so i expect them to be dissolving

                       soon. you can't see the ones on my neck very well, but they're still there. everything

                       is healing nicely though.

i will say, and excuse my language, but the stitches on my ears itch like HELL. its really hard not scratching them, but obviously, do-able. i keep them clean with a cotton swab and some peroxide.

getting the hang of things

Wow. It has been a rough week, but somehow i managed to make it through. so here's how it goes:

• you get your surgery
• you stay the night in the hospital to make sure you're fine
• when you're released, you see the chiropractor (which is actually my favorite part)
• eventually you'll get to take your splint out for fifteen minutes, five times a day
• you have to do two exercises
• you get to eat, but you can't chew (not even with your tongue)
• take your meds, and drink your fluids. 

seems super easy right? well for some people, it may be a piece of cake, but not for everyone. when i go back to visit piper (almost every day a week post-op) there's another girl who had her surgery on the same day as me, so we're kind of on the same schedule. her surgery was the same, except she did not get her wisdom teeth out (which i am coming to realize makes a big difference in recovery).

Well, we were talking to her father about how she's doing (she's doing great) and he said she LOVES coming out of the splint. wow. now that surprised me. almost every single time i have come out of that splint, i have been in tears. its very strange because your range of motion is little to none, but it hurts me so bad, that i would rather stay in the splint forever. (just kidding, ha ha ha)

night 3, post-op is when things started getting a little crappy. the day was fine, i was great, i even went to the movies with my boyfriend (and fell asleep), and when i got home, i was a WRECK. i was in so much pay, and i was crying and it was bad. my boyfriend (who i need to say has been the best. super supportive, and super loving and caring and amazing) stayed with my for a while that night. him and my mom calmed me down, my boyfriend stayed for a while and let me fall asleep with him, and snuck out silently.

a MAJOR MAJOR part of this recovery, is having helpful and supportive people  around, who can handle your medication schedule, and your pain and emotions, and keep you active (because unfortunately you can't sleep more than an hour each day). My mom and DJ have been those people. they've been with me since i entered the hospital, and i know i am a high-maintenance pain in the ass, but they work with me and are still so supportive, and understanding.

Today i woke up, in a little bit of pain, but i took out my splint, ate (swallowed) some oatmeal, brushed my teeth, flushed my wisdom teeth holes, took my meds, drank some fluids, did my exercises, put the splint back in, and I'm actually doing great. its my best morning so far, and I'm praying things are just going to get better from here.


SO. sorry for the really long post about everything and nothing. YOU READY FOR SOME MORE PICTURES? ill post some before and afters, and some fun videos in the next few. ENJOY <3